No Closure

 So much anger build up

Never got to let it all out 

So many unanswered questions 

I want to scream 

I want to yell

I want to throw things across the room 

I want to punch or smack something 

I hate this feeling 

It feels like I didn’t get to have the reaction I want to 

Like I know there was more that could have been said 

But what was said “I understand”

Not answering the questions 

 I’m so fucking angry 

I want to scream so loud but don’t know who will hear me

Head spinning 

Can’t stop analyzing 

So many thoughts in my head 

I just want to know why 

So much frustration build up every time I think about it 

Makes me sick did you even care 

I keep pushing past it but it always seems to come up 

So I go on living my life as if you didn’t exist 

Because I don’t think I’ll every get that closure

 

Breastfeeding Journey

 Breastfeeding journey 

Lots of ups and downs 

Trying to get it right 

Wanting to give up 

But never did 

Kept going 

Late night feedings 

To early morning wake ups 

The journey was definitely a joyful experience 

I got to feed not one but two children of my own

Having that bond is the best feeling ever

16 months I  nursed my first 

2 and half years I nursed my second 

It was bitter sweet when it all ended

My last baby 

My last time nursing 

It was a journey I’ll never forget 

It was my breastfeeding journey